October 30, 2012

I Stopped Procrastinating



I've made many changes in the past few years and especially in the past few months.

One thing I wasn't changing was my voicemail greeting.

Next week marks my 6-month "manniversary". It will be 6 months since I started taking T. My voice is much deeper. Changed forever. No going back. It was something I was really afraid of, and grieved heavily in the first few months. I wasn't ever going to sound the same, ever again. My voice was my trademark. Unique. Special. And now, it was going to change.

And I was controlling that change. Fingered hovered over the red button, so to speak.

Since it was so hard, it makes sense that it took me almost 6 months to change my voicemail greeting. It was the last recorded proof of who I was. What I sounded like. Changing that was changing...the present and the future.

Can you see why I was dragging my feet about it? Procrastinating was so much easier than doing the hard thing, but it so many ways it was actually dragging out the hard part. Procrastination is like that. We think we're fooling ourselves that we are avoiding pain but doesn't it just drag out the pain and suffering much longer? Because it isn't like we forget about the thing we're avoiding. Well, I should speak for myself. I don't forget that thing. It hangs over my head and practically every waking moment until I resolve it.

Welcome to my mindfulness practice. ;) It's a real trip, sometimes!

Today, I finally stopped procrastinating. With the press of a button, I erased the past and replaced it with the current, gorgeous present.

Scary? Yep. Hard? Not so much. I did it when I was good and ready. I didn't rush when it felt wrong. I took my sweet time, but kept it as a goal the whole time--and challenged myself on the edge of my comfort zone. And it FELT SO GOOD! WHAT A RELIEF! The agonizing around taking the leap was finally over.

Evolution feels so good and so right when it comes from within and we have the right people to support us along the way. That's for another day, but today---stop procrastinating. Stop avoiding something that needs to be addressed or resolved. Or changed.

You will feel so much better once it's done.


2 comments:

  1. More wise words Dillan...thank you...so much! Peace ;o)

    ReplyDelete

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