September 22, 2011

Getting Unstuck

A couple of weeks ago, I made a really good decision.

I quit a very decent and good job recently---simply because it wasn't the right fit for me.

While that may not sound very profound, it was for me. It has not been a pattern for me to make this type of decision in my life. It is completely unfamiliar and it was very uncomfortable, actually.

But you know what? It wasn't so bad compared to the months of agony I spent trying to release myself from something that wasn't working for me. 

The debating, deliberating, hypothesizing, theorizing, justifying, rationalizing----now THOSE were torture.

I want to expound upon this in another post--the side effects of staying too long with something that isn't a right fit--but today I wanted to share how one good decision can lead to a whole host of opportunities to make MORE good decisions based on what I want and need, not on what I'm being given---especially if it doesn't meet my needs.

Is this something you're facing right now in your life?

I was stuck for a very long time trying to make a decision coming from a place of fear, scarcity and lack of confidence. And lack of self-love.

I didn't love myself enough.

Until a few weeks ago when, with the support of my coach, my partner and my therapist (I swear I need to buy or make a shirt that says, "I <3 my therapist.") I realized, "wow. I have a business called Savor Your Existence and I am not really savoring mine right now. I need to change that."

Because you see, I am in charge of my health and my happiness. Not this person. Not that person. Not you, either. 




The days of victimhood are over. Because of my work as a health coach, I know that my days of shaming and blaming other people and situations are acts of weakness and come from a place of not loving myself enough to say, "oh hey. This isn't right for me. Thank you."

And it doesn't have to be angry, violent, reactionary. I know I react that way when I expect someone to do something other than what they are capable of doing. It's normal. We do this. 

But I'm also learning that I need to accept the reality and MOVE IT RIGHT ALONG...
onto the next...
stop barking up the wrong tree, and find what I need where it is flowing freely.

I didn't think this was possible. So I kept trying to squeeze water from a stone. And I kept myself in this cycle and perpetuated the reality I so desperately wanted to end. I was stuck in what my friend and colleague, Paula Cole Jones, calls, "the squeeze". I was stuck between what I knew and my unknown future--the place I wanted to be.

And then---I left that reality. I came out the other side. 

I made the hard decision to do right by me, and believe that the Universe would have my back. I knew the only way I could see a reality other than my current one was to change it. It wasn't changing and no answers were coming doing the same thing. As another friend says, "nothing changes if nothing changes."

Ok! So I changed things but giving myself permission to get unstuck and leave something, just because it didn't make me feel good. It was reason enough. It was all the reason I need, and YOU need, to change an aspect of your life.

If it sounds oversimplified, unrealistic, impractical or irresponsible to you---I agree. It did to me, too. And that was the voice that was keeping me in the same patterns. And when I had that awareness, there was no way I could keep up that storyline anymore.

So pay careful attention to the thoughts you think. And what the voices in your head are telling you.

Are those voices coming from fear or from love?

Mine were absolutely coming from fear. And I justified them. And then I wasn't able to do that anymore because the sleepless nights, digestive issues, constant negative attitude and general dis-ease became unable to justify any longer.

I heard this lyric over and over from one of my favorite musicians, Ray Lamontagne:

It's not livin' that you're doin if it feels like dyin'.

WHAT?! With a business named SAVOR YOUR EXISTENCE?!

It was time I got my self unstuck and walked my talk. And so here I am.

And here we are.

to be continued...


  1. Bravo! This totally resonates with me. And it serves as a reminder to me that I'm not the only who struggles with this sort of thing. I'm inspired and I can't wait to hear more!


  2. Way to go, Dillan! I'm right there with you! I'm so ready to LOVE MYSELF enough to take the leap into the unknown...

  3. I'm happy for you, but I'm going to miss running into you at the store!


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